Honestly, my journey since launching my website, putting myself out into the big world of online homes has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I’ve had to remind myself many times that this is my journey and where I am right now is exactly where I need to be. It’s so hard not to compare what others are doing in your field, to feel like what you’ve done isn’t enough, to push yourself to create more, to do more, to achieve more. This part of my journey has been the most challenging but at the same time so rewarding and I’ve learnt so much more about myself.
I don’t like roller coasters at all so for me feeling one minute excited, energised, and confident to feeling completely the opposite and questioning what the hell I’m doing. I was more than ready to get off the emotional roller coaster and take the easiest option. After all my journey was about finding a job that I enjoyed and contribute to my family’s finances and to find what lights me up every day. I was adamant that I didn’t want to rely on tulips and tuxedos to be my only source of income. For me, that is not why I started it, it’s about doing what I love, celebrating myself inside and out and helping and inspiring others to the same. And to see where that takes me.
However, at one point during the first few weeks of my launching I started to put pressure on myself and my idea of success was getting blurred with what everyone else was achieving. I was comparing myself to those who have completely different lifestyles, life experiences and expertise. I had to use all my energy to refocus, slow down, acknowledge and celebrate all what I’ve already achieved. I had forgotten that during this whole process I had several things going on like I had changed my job and one of my boys was struggling with a health issue at the time and still is.
I also had a moment that everything needed to be perfect like my first newsletter, I lost count the number of times I started again, hoping that I would eventually feel like it was perfect. I know there is no such thing as perfect and I suspect so do you. But, sometimes we can’t help ourselves fall into the trap of perfectionism, trying to be perfect and create something perfect which leads to us feeling stuck, unworthy and unable to move forward. I needed to remember to embrace being perfectly imperfect.
What surprised me the most was when I did slow down, acknowledge and celebrate what I’ve done and who I am. I had achieved exactly what I set out to do all along. I have found a new job that I enjoy, it fits in with my family life, it also allows me to have the time to study, to be the mum I want to be and continue this little adventure that I’ve created.
There is no right or wrong way of going about creating a life you love and following your path. This is your journey, your story and how you want to write it is up to you. I can guarantee it’s not going to be easy, it will be bloody hard and you will face new challenges and road blocks along the way that are designed to push you beyond what you thought possible.
Be patient (this was a big one for me), trust yourself, everything you need is within you. Be open to the detours you might experience, who knows where they will lead you, be brave and be you. Remember to celebrate the tiny victories, the baby steps, collectively they will lead you to your destination.
One last thing, the roller coaster ride was totally worth it, and yes I will be riding it again, but this time I will at least know how to ride it.
Enjoy and celebrate your journey